So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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