i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
