And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
