if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
