You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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