just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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