At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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