Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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