So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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