it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
me + whiskey = a bad person
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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