had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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