I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
