anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
