Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
