your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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