She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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