you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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