I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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