Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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