oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
