he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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