wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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