I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
