Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
