somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm too high and old for this...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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