I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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