My Higher Power is John Stamos
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Panties = found
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
