You're my little dorito
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
