I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
