Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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