Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
