i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
