after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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