I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
