Midget sex pt 2 tonight
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
