We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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