The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
