dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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