Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
