I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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