Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
