I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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