Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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