I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
