i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
True strength comes from lack of pants
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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