JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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