i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
her vagine was all disorganized.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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