just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
