my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
