I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
