i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have post one night stand depression
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