five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
