She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
